If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Lil Wayne

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4-4-2

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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