How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops