Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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My children are huge mistakes.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Women.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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