A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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