Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Do you believe this will change?

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops