How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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Kathy Griffin.

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

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whats long and green? weed

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops