What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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24!

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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