Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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irish wristwatch JLR

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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