What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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