What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Shut the cork up!

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Penis.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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