Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Snausages.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +34

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops