How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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you

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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(Put joke here)

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops