What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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