why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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