What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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