Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

thumb_up thumb_down +2

when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dani barton= lovely

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops