roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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