How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Twenty-Four

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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