Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Woman's Rights

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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