why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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i like pie.

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womens rights

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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