How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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*you're

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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im a dragon, no im not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops