"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops