- Anti Joke

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

whats purple and savage? Barney!

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

wanna hear a joke. i do to