Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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this is not a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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