why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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