If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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