What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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