Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jacob Edwards has friends

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Life is an elephant, get married.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

hey guys what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

thumb_up thumb_down +14

LMFAO - "WE runnin' through these hoes like Drano?" Is that really what society has sunken to? Is this really what is accepted? Is this what we are jamming into children's moralities? Society is Screwed!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops