What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Johan showering. . . AWK

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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