Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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