A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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so dont touch it.

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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