roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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