How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Why did the baby die? Abortion

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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