What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops