Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

thumb_up thumb_down +32

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +30

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

This sentence is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +28

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops