If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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WNBA

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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