Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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