Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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9/11

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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