Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops