What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Paige

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Poop

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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