Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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banana

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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