Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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