How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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