What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +1

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than death? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -175

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +210

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops