what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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