Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Fags are gay.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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