What does 1+1 equal? 2

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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