It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

whats 2+2? math.

Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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