Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Male penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is cold? Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops