A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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you and your family will die tonight

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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