Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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Penal Dysfunction

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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She said no

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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whats 2+2? 4

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops