Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Yes.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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Twenty-Four

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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