Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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your mother hates you

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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